What to Say to a Muslim Who Lost a Family Member
Islām is a way of life, which guides and assists mankind through every situation. For dealing with moments of grief besides, Allāh ta'ālā has conveyed instructions through His Messenger sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam. At that place can exist few instances that cause greater grief than the death of a loved one. Post-obit the instructions brought by Rasūlullāh sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam will help lessen the grief and sorrow of the bereaved immensely, and make those who console them worthy of keen reward. This is done through the Sunnah of ta'ziyah.
What is Ta'ziyah?
Ta'ziyah means to console, condolement and give solace to someone who is suffering grief. The Islāmic concept of ta'ziyah at the fourth dimension of someone's death is ane of consoling the bereaved with such words or deportment equally volition remove or lessen their grief. The aim of ta'ziyah is to strengthen the anxious and give them promise at a time when their hope may be waning; information technology is to lighten the load of the bereaved. To say or do things that augment or reawaken grief is not ta'ziyah, information technology is taklīf (giving hardship to others).
Virtues of Ta'ziyah
There are great rewards for ta'ziyah. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam said:
A Muslim who consoles his brother will be clothed with garments of honour past Allāh on the Day of Qiyāmah. (Al-Bayhaqī)
Whoever consoles a bereaved mother volition exist dressed with a (special) garment in Paradise. (At-Tirmidhī)
Whoever consoles an afflicted person will receive the same advantage [as the sufferer will upon his sabr]. (At-Tirmidhī)
When a Muslim is afflicted with a difficulty of any sort, be it the loss of a loved one or any other hardship, and he bears it patiently then Allāh ta'ālā rewards him for his patience. From this hadīth we learn that one who consoles an affected person receives the same reward that the afflicted person receives due to his patience. The patience exercised past a bereaved person, and consequently the reward, is obviously great, therefore the reward of someone who consoles the bereaved through the sunnah of ta'ziyah is also great.
How to Carry Out Ta'ziyah
There are no set words for ta'ziyah. One should visit the bereaved and console them, bearing in heed the following points: (Ta'ziyah can also be performed over the phone if necessary or past alphabetic character.)
a) Encourage patience, reminding the bereaved of the virtues of patience.
b) Brand du'ā for the bereaved, asking Allāh ta'ālā to grant them reward in return for their loss. A du'ā that can be read is:
A'dhamallāhu ajrak, wa ahsana 'azā'ak, wa ghafara li mayyitik.
Translation: May Allāh ta'ālā increment your reward, and grant you good consolation, and forgive your deceased.
Note: In cases where the deceased is a pocket-size, non yet bāligh, the last part of the du'ā (wa ghafara li mayyitik) is omitted, as the question of forgiveness for a minor does non arise. The parents should besides be reminded that Rasūlullāh sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam said that when a child passes away he intercedes for his parents before Allāh ta'ālā and takes them into Jannah.
c) Make du'ā for the deceased, an act that will bring cheer to the hearts of the bereaved.
d) Mention the positive aspects of the situation for both the bereaved and the deceased. Ibn 'Abbās radhiyallāhu 'anhu says that at the time of his father's death, a bedouin was able to panel him as no one else had been able to. The bedouin recited a poem, the last part of which was: 'Better for you than 'Abbās is the advantage y'all will receive after him, and Allāh is improve than you for 'Abbās.'
Through these words the grieving son was reminded that although he had suffered a loss, the proceeds brought by patience is superior to the loss. He was and then reminded that his male parent may have lost the company of his son, but he had gone to meet his Creator. What is amend for 'Abbās radhiyallāhu 'anhu, being with his son or being with Allāh ta'ālā?
e) The significant of the verse 'to Allāh we belong, and to Him we will render' should be explained. We all belong to Allāh ta'ālā, so when he takes 1 of u.s. away we should not complain. And although we become separated from a loved i, it is only a temporary separation, for we will soon exist returning to them. At the demise of his grandson, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam consoled his daughter with the words:
Inna lillāhi mā akhadha wa lahū mā a'tā, wa kullun 'indahū bi 'ajalim-musammā, faltasbir waltahtasib.
Translation: Whatsoever Allāh takes is His, and whatsoever He gives is His, and everything has an appointed fourth dimension. And then be patient and seek rewards. (Al-Bukhārī)
For the deceased, it is simply a example of their appointed fourth dimension having arrived; as for those left behind, information technology is a time to be patient and acquire bully reward every bit a outcome.
f) Inform the bereaved that you intend to do some optional good deeds and transport the reward to the deceased. This volition delight and condolement the bereaved.
g) When going for ta'ziyah practice non enquire into details of the illness or circumstances that preceded the death.
The Time for Ta'ziyah
According to the Sharī'ah, there are but 3 days for ta'ziyah, i.e. information technology should but be carried out within the beginning 3 days later on the decease has occurred. At that place is an exception for people who live far abroad, or are out of the land or sick and then are unable to nourish inside the first three days: they may come for ta'ziyah even after three days. The intent of the Sharī'ah is to allow people to forget their grief, not have them sitting around nursing it indefinitely. For this reason, it is sunnah for an private to go only once for ta'ziyah.
The fuqahā take written that every bit presently as the burial has been completed, the bereaved should get back into the normal routine of their lives, ane of its benefits being that it prevents the prolonged coming and going of visitors, which just serves to keep the grief alive when it should be forgotten.
It is sunnah for neighbours or friends to prepare nutrient for the immediate family of the deceased during their moment of grief. This should exist done for one mean solar day, though information technology is likewise permissible to do so for the full three days. The objective is to lighten the burden of the bereaved and ensure that nutrient is available for them at a time when they may be as well distraught to keep track of mealtimes.
Sending Reward for the Deceased
Some other of import signal to remember during the time of bereavement is īsāl-uth-thawāb. This means to perform some optional proficient human activity, east.m. tilāwah of the Qur'ān, tasbīh, sadaqah or nafl salāh, and so to ask Allāh ta'ālā to send its reward to the deceased. When hearing of someone'due south demise, along with ta'ziyah, one's time is best spent in īsāl-uth-thawāb. The fuqahā have written that sadaqah (giving in clemency) is the all-time fashion of doing īsāl-uth-thawāb, one reason existence that by spending on something that volition be of lasting do good to people, the deceased will earn a perpetual reward.
These points cover the sunnah method of ta'ziyah. It is a simple and constructive fashion of helping those suffering loss. Any other practices or customs that may be carried out in the proper noun of ta'ziyah are baseless.
Source: https://idauk.org/index.php/k2-content/item/32-taziyah-the-sunnah-method-of-consoling-the-bereaved.html
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